Almost every day I get guys writing in to me, asking me how to deal with a cheating spouse - specifically, their cheating wife.
When our spouse cheats, it creates the most difficult emotional experience we will ever face... in our ENTIRE lives.
I know that pain. I've been there personally.
So if your spouse cheated - if your wife betrayed you - and your emotions are overwhelming, but you still love your wife and you want to save your marriage if you can, then you're in the right place.
My name is Kevin Jackson and I help guys like you every day.
Here's what one guy recently wrote to me:
QUESTION FROM A READER
I am really just a dam diaster right now, my entire world has just crumbled with in the last 2 weeks after 20 years, my intuitions un-fortunately were totally correct and I'm
trying to find the stregenth to stay cool, calm and collected (Boy is that a mouthful). I am just in total shock and complete dispair that she could do this to me.
I look forward to reading your book, I hope it can help me.
I really have no close friends to talk to, or would I ever want any of them to look at my wife that way, maybe a shrink I don't know right now my thoughts are just a scatered flippin mess. I am definately a super pleaser to my own discust, but the guilt finally got her to come clean, it's got to be tough to look at someone straight in the face knowing the bullshit you have been doing behind my back.
Thanks for your response,
Couple of things...
First off, nice job trying to keep your cool and not do something you'll later regret... but it's also super important to give yourself permission to GRIEVE.
As I say in my book, there's nothing shameful about getting a good cry in.
I remember when I was going through my dark times, one day I walked into my therapist's office, sat on the couch, and yes, I must say I shed a tear or two (or ten!).
It was actually a good thing.
A bad thing is stuffing down your emotions. That can drive you INSANE. Instead, when the time is right, let your feeling flow.
(Women are obviously better than this than men - they're naturals. Experts suggest this is one reason why women have less stress related heart disease than men - it's because women relieve their stress through their tears.)
Next, you're doing a great job learning more about yourself through this process. You've already learned that you have a pattern of "Pleasing." I talk a lot about this in my eBook.
But watch out for judging yourself so harshly that you "disgust" yourself. Millions of married guys have a history of Pleasing too much - myself included. You're in good company... lol... so don't get too down on yourself.
You also said it must be hard for her to look you in the face after doing what she did. This is called having "empathy" for your wife, and it's a big step in the right direction, so good job.
When a man who has been betrayed by his wife can see things from her perspective and even have compassion for what SHE is going through, it helps her be less defensive... which in turn helps us get to the bottom of things, get compassion and remorse from her, etc. In other words...
IT HELPS US GET WHAT WE WANT.
Just make sure you balance your empathy for your wife with empathy for YOURSELF... and make sure she's giving you empathy as well. Her infidelity sure as hell shouldn't be all about HER feelings and how bad she feels now.
Don't let her twist things around on you. Many women try.
And if YOU are reading this article right now and your wife cheated, but you still love her and you want to save your marriage if you can... but you're having a hard time with it
(like most guys), then the most important thing you can do right now is to get a free copy of my special report, "The 7 Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Wives Cheat."
Most men make mistakes that make things even WORSE, push their wife further away, and make saving their marriage even harder. Get my free report right now so you avoid these mistakes and get on the path of saving your marriage and getting your sanity back.
"I read your 7 mistakes. I just wanted to thank you for putting that on the internet. I feel better and I know I have a roller coaster ride though hell. I know I will be stronger once I pass hell and turn into a stronger person. Thank you again. You are a good man to help people after what you went through. Maybe one day I can help people like you have helped me." - Bill, Australia
We take your privacy very seriously and will never share or sell any information to anyone, for any reason. Period. Disclaimer: Results will vary, and you should not use this information as a substitute for help from a licensed professional. Just make sure you find a good one.